Alpha Males

Joseph wears:
Romance was Born silk print shirt
Edwin jeans
Thrifted shoes

Romance Was Born backpack

Lola wears:
Provocator lace dress
Baggu backpack
Vintage sunglasses
Creepers from eBay

So gay Christmas has come and gone and here I am sitting in my underwear eating ice cream out of the tub and not off the washboard abs of some hot European foreigner. What is this guys? Seeing as Mardi Gras should be my peak season, I came out pretty empty handed. All the animals are at the watering hole and I managed to snag zero? Even Lola got lucky. My life is on par with one of those lions that fail to drag down the animal they've eye-fucked for the past hour. All I'm missing is the soothing Attenborough voice over commentary, "the male lion has adorned himself in bright colours and prints in an attempt to attract other mates. He shows his alpha coordination superiority by pairing his Romance was Born t-shirt with a backpack of the same pattern. The other males however, are not interested."

I mean, if I saw someone wearing print on print, and not just any print, but Romance was Born print, I would throw my body against them and declare my undying love, pretend to fall over so they would have to catch me, or if that fails, fake a pregnancy so they are forced to stay with me. It was probably my psychotic nature that scared all the men away, though I like to think it was just me intimidating them with my ultra good looks. But even so, the print was in the universal colour of sex, love and whispers of naughty things behind closed doors. Maybe I just wasn't wearing enough red.

Climbing to the ends of the Earth in search for man prey