The struggles of beach attire

Jack London Coat
Jack London pussy blouse
Sass and Bide Jeans
Aldo brogues

I have a problem. A major sartorial, life threatening problem, and no it isn't my credit card bouncing. It's the fact that I am incapable of dressing for fun* times at the beach. This inability to pick out my 3/4 boardies from Lowes, Havaiana flip-flops and Australian flag towel from among a mainly beach redundant wardrobe has led many beach goers and friends giving me confused looks. This might also be related to the fact that I am incapable of deciphering how hot it is even when I load the weather app. You would think that with all these problems in my life I would have qualified for the government doll or something.

But here I am, doll-less wearing jeans, leather shoes and a coat to the beach all the while having people in various states of undress walking past me and staring. Though a part of me likes to believe that they kept staring because they had not seen such perfection before.

* There's nothing fun in burning your feet on hot sand and coming out of the water looking like a drowned rat